Last night I had a dream, one I’ve had may times before. It was different last night though, so detailed that it sticks with me. I dreamt I was drowning. I found my self with water in all directions, I could feel the temperature change of my body as the water rushed in, I jerked around in the water for a while, but that faded soon, and then there was a just a cold calm. It was terrifyingly beautiful. I can’t shake it; every moment today not spent on other things was spent on thinking about this dream. I’m probably just crazy, but in all seriousness it actually feels a little hard to breathe right now…with a slight warmth in my lungs.

So its been a while since I posted. This is kind of a conglomeration of a few posts, the most recent part is the dream on top. I hope you enjoy.

I had a dream last night as I lay in the uncomfortable bed in Hopkins, the bed of my youth.  The bed that I’ve had all my life.  There was far more to it than this, but this is what I recall of it.  I was back in elementary school, Sarah was at her locker.  I tripped and knocked her over, helping her to her feet and looking at her something came over me.  I told her that I liked her, something I’d have never had the courage to do back in elementary school, and she blushed, and it was beautiful and then I woke up. In my bed, in Hopkins, and it struck me how… different things are now.  How different a person I am now.  I still would never have the courage to do that, but the feeling, the feeling I got just looking at her in my dream, I recall that, I don’t get that any more.  I still get a feeling, but it’s nothing as powerful. 

I often wonder what happened to her, I’ve heard a number of things, none of them pleasant, so I’d rather not know if they’re true.  At least this way I can still dream.

Everything below this point was typed on a night about a week ago… in bed.  The majority of it ended up being just a rambling review of Twilight Princess, enjoy.

Its been a number of months since I’ve written a post from bed and I figured it was time.  I stayed home sick today.  Last couple weeks I’ve been getting these bouts of just terrible nausea and it seemed over the top bad this morning so I decided to get some rest. 

Works going alright, been stuck on this same project for far too long though.  I’m starting to find a balance between work and home which is great.  For instance, until recently my Democracy (video) feeds had gone entirely unwatched, and my RSS feeds were nearly as bad, with me just emptying Digg occasionally because I knew the important things would be on other feeds as well, but lately I’ve found time for those little things.

I’ve been playing Twilight Princess again, and in my honest opinion, I perfered Windwaker.  I know people are going to hate me for saying this, but I think Windwaker is the apex of the series, and Ocarina of Time gets far more credit than it deserves.  Certainly, it was the first decent 3d adventure game and it set an example for what the genre could be, but in retrospect, replaying the game, it is far far less majestic than one would like to remember.  As a boy I was awed by the game, as I was the first time I played Mario 64, and playing them on virtual console now, while they are still decent games, they are not the games we Nintendo people remember.  Back to Windwaker.  Windwaker was an attempt on Nintendo’s part to break out of the “Zelda” sort of mold.  An attempt to do something more original and a lot of people hated them for it, though not I.  While Twilight Princess may not be down to the letter Ocarina of Time, for example they brought over a number of the enemies new to Windwaker, it follows suit with very similar temples, a fairly similar story line, and is just generally a very similar game.  For example the water temple I am on right now in like Hyle I believe, rather than Lake Hyrule as it was in Ocarina, while not the same temple exactly has a very similar feel and layout.  I guess this is archetypal of Zelda games, Ocarina of Time did follow very closely to the story line of A Link to the Past, and I actually enjoyed this, though I have to imagine mainly because the medium was so different, and three dimensions was such a new thing I have to imagine the familiar story line was almost comforting.  But now that we are accustomed to such things its time for a new story.  Windwaker attempted this, but people complained, and Nintendo trying to please the masses gave us Twilight Princess, which while having more ‘realistic’ graphics (which does little for me) lacks a new story line, or even the emotional attachment even Ocarina of time could bring, and that Windwaker did for me.  This is epitomized best the first time you enter the town surrounding Hyrule castle the first time as a human.  Whereas in all previous games I can think of you could speak to each and any of the town goers, there is only a small number on the side who will actually speak to you, and the majority of the town who are walking the streets you are not even given the option to speak to them.  I’m not asking for Shenmue or Morrowind level conversations, all I want is an acknowledgement that I exist by the in game sprites simply to get a more “I Am Here” feel, if that makes sense.  Lastly, I actually just finished the 4th installment of the penny arcade books, “Birds are Weird” and in the commentary Tycho mentions how Gabe had the same feelings as I, unpopular as they are.

I’ve struck some kind of peace with myself I believe, though how long it will last I cannot say.  Having something to look forward to certainly helps and with Paul coming to town for the week of the 4th, which I might add I have off is something to look forward to indeed. 

Damn it, why can’t I get one good nights sleep. (This whole week I’ve been unable to get a good nights rest one way or another)

I just had this dream, scariest, most visually and painfully detailed dream I’ve ever had in my entire life. I don’t recall if there was anything before where my memory of it starts, probably is, but Jeff, Paul, and I are walking down main street in Hopkins, its late at night. On about 9th or 10th street, the one with the Snyder’s and that bank on it, we veer north. We were walking in the usual fashion with my self taking up the back, Jeff in front talking about the propper way to cook rice as he will from time to time. About 15 feet ahead of us is a shady looking man in a hooded shirt examining a dollar bill facing the wall standing on the sidewalk next to building that sits on main street, we cross the road early towards the bank, still heading north away from main street, to avoid the man. As we enter a better lit area by the Hance Hardware parking lot, the man runs up behind me, and I feel something poke me in the right side of my back. He whispers into my ear “And now you die” at which point he stabs whatever he was holding into my upper back. I feel the initial pain, but then I feel the knife pierce my lung. I feel blood begin to fill my lung, I fall to the ground and begin coughing blood and convulsing.

I wake up, but am unsure whether or not I am still alive for the following few panicked seconds. The dream was in first person, and I never dream in first person, and the realism of it, I still find striking as I write this…

Ever just wake up with the strangest thought in your head? This morning I woke up with the following thought in my head and it struck me as extremely odd.

"I wish I were a lion tamer, so I could hand feed blind jazz singers the hands of the innocent spectators who stepped too close."

Well that concludes my very short LJ update.

This is what happened in a dream I had last night, it was so detailed I have to post what I remembered here.

It is the dead of night in front of the house in Hopkins. But where the street usually is, it was a river. This Asian lady, my mom, dad and my self proceed to get into this paddle boat illuminated by a kerosene lantern. My mom says something about the last time she was on a boat, and the Asian lady says the last time she was on a boat it wasn't sinking. I look down and see water coming up through the floor boards, it was a small boat and we very quickly end up under water. Off in the distance down the river I see a glowing ghostly figure, and I begin to head for it. The water in the river recedes revealing the road that is supposed to be there. Ahead of me on the road there is a giant Trojan horse, a gramophone, and a music box. My father walks to the gramophone and turns it on. It plays a tune I don’t remember but recall as being familiar. I go to investigate the Trojan horse and looking for my flashlight realize that I must have dropped it when the boat sank. Back at the boat, now sitting on the road I find my flashlight, which for some reason was made of glass and has broken into several pieces. I try to put the flashlight back together but the pieces do not seem to fit as though pieces have been unevenly scaled. I am trying to put the flashlight back together and I wake up.