I do believe this to be the longest I have gone without a real post to my live journal, and what a shame eh?

So what’s happened since my last real post in January you ask? Quite a lot really.

Lets start with the basics. March 12^th I met a wonderful girl named Elizabeth who I’ve been seeing now for just over six months. There’ve been a few rough spots but overall its going well. We’ve gone on a couple of trips to Iowa, Wisconsin, and quite a few to visit her family in Duluth. Overall it’s been a great time.

The other part is that end of July Stephanie, my former room mate, left in a huff over some complicated stuff I’d rather not get into – I more or less kicked her out but she took the pleasure out of it saying she was already planning on leaving, but she’s now moved back in with her parents.

So I’m living alone now, which is interesting if not a little Spooky – having this whole house all to my self can be a little disconcerting at night when there’s noises coming up from downstairs. I try my best to ignore it.

I do believe my self in an overall better state of mind than I have been in quite some time. When I moved back to Hopkins I was a little bit crazy – I was scared of people, terrified of public spaces, and all that ridiculous stuff. Looking back it seems so silly now, I drive, I go to the store, I hang out with Liz, I’m active for the first time… ever really, and all this adds up to one thing, me sleeping better. Why do I bring this up you ask? The only time I ever really wrote to my Live Journal was late at night, because that is the only time I’m allowed the level of verbosity I enjoy writing with.

Ooh, also, I got a promotion – I am now Senior Developer, or Señor Developer as I prefer it.

Haha, also I have a new love of spending $2 bills – I generally get $100 back as cash when I deposit my check, and I have been explicitly asking for it in $2 bills to varying levels of success. I went to the State Fair and spent only $2 bills and no one even looked twice. Some friends and I were going through the drive through at White Castle though and we paid for 12 sliders with $2 bills – he had to call over his manager to approve the bills; he did.

On an interesting side note – my sister Natalie has/had swine flu, she’s mostly recovered now though. The doctor gave her antibiotics (yes, flu is a virus, but its to prevent other infections – that was my first question) and sent her on her way. Guess theres not too much they can do for flu other than waiting it out. She had a mighty fever for a while. I was asked “Why don’t you bring us chicken noodle soup” and my immediate answer was “Because you have swine flu” which seems a logical response.

I hope to update a little more often, but I think this will be good for now – I should be getting to bed as I am to hang out with Liz tomorrow if she’s feeling better – she has been sick.

This is a day at work.

It has been a long time since my last post. I don't even know where to start, a huge number of things have happened. I don't know if anyone even reads this who wasn't there to experience at least most of it.

On the friday after Thanksgiving I moved out.  Moved back to Hopkins after... a little over 4 years.  A friend, Stephanie, rents a room down stairs.  I'm living in my parents old room.  Living out on my own is interesting, I'm liking it quite a bit.  Taking some getting used to, can be lonely at times.

Friend Jeff stayed with me for a few weeks over Christmas break, which helped me get settled in.

Well short post for now.  I'll go into more details later.  Just don't want to give up on my Live Journal

This is my inaugural post from my new laptop in bed.  I had a long habit with my old laptop of writing from bed.  A habit I wish to continue with my new one.  

For anyone I haven't blabbed to about my new Laptop yet, its one of Apples new MacBook Pro's. Link  Its machined from a single piece of Aluminum.  Has glass in front of the CRT as well as a buttonless glass track pad.  Its not only the largest, most sensitive track pad I've ever used, but its multi-touch capabilities are amazing.  This thing is soo sturdy feeling... I love it.  I also love that the vents are on the vents are not on the bottom, where my Dell had them, so I can in fact safely set this on my bed.

Well its 2 am, and I'm tired.  Look forward to another post tomorrow or the next day on some major changes in my life. as well as possibly some updates to this post (photos of the laptop, etc.) I'm just too tired at the moment.

Been over a month now since I’ve updated. In that time quite a bit has happened, biggest of all? I got my license last Thursday. I have not driven on my license yet.

All goes well though, I’m moving out into the Hopkins house when the pipes and van get fixed. Should definitely improve my commute time.

Moreover here is why I’m writing. I got my license Thursday and I was ecstatic. By Saturday I was back to my gloomy self. As I receive more and more of the things I’ve always wanted and they all fail to bring a lasting lack of gloom I question whether or not anything will ever help. I had always assumed it was from lack of being around people, but even in Japan, around good friends for two solid weeks there were times where I was quite gloomy. Well though, now that I have my license this will allow a higher degree of freedom, certainly, and we will see where this leads. This could be a brave new world for me.

Here’s hoping I don’t kill my self driving.

Here's hoping that rant wasn't too crazy for you... its 2 am on a Sunday and I can't sleep.

Last night I had a dream, one I’ve had may times before. It was different last night though, so detailed that it sticks with me. I dreamt I was drowning. I found my self with water in all directions, I could feel the temperature change of my body as the water rushed in, I jerked around in the water for a while, but that faded soon, and then there was a just a cold calm. It was terrifyingly beautiful. I can’t shake it; every moment today not spent on other things was spent on thinking about this dream. I’m probably just crazy, but in all seriousness it actually feels a little hard to breathe right now…with a slight warmth in my lungs.

I know someone out there, probably Jeff is still waiting for me to talk about Japan, it has been 2 months now for crying out loud, but my mind is just a mess. Its settled some in the last few weeks, but there's still a ways to go. For now, I give you my favorite photo of me ever, taken in the most amazing hotel I've ever stayed in.

I have been playing a lot of video games lately (finally using my PSP), I have to say though that I don't think they're indusive (not a real word?) to a propper grip on reality, (I know at least once person who does nothing but play games and has a grip on reality far worse than my own) although they have certainly been helping me deal. I think though like as though methadone, they should only be used to help me ease back in to the real world rather than act as a substitute for it.

I was scheduled to take my drivers test this coming Wednesday but canceled because I've missed so much work lately (kidney stone) and didn't feel I should be missing more. I'll reschedule at a later date, hopefully with more driving experience.

There are things I would like to rant about, but I'm tired, and I think I'm going to head to bed. Look forward to more posts soon, anyone left reading this.

Someone somewhere out there is saying "Jesse, when will you talk about Japan?" and I assure you soon, but in due time. Actually, probably no one, but oh well.

Anyway, Japan post is still pushed off by recent happenings. Re: My Surgery.

Last Wednesday I had an appointment to see the urologist if my kidney stone hadn't yet passed. It had not. After some discussing my options he decided it would be best to put a stint in my ureter to allow my kidney to drain and prevent damage, as well as determine if we would be able to break it up with sound. They wanted to do the surgery that day but they couldn't get an operating room, so it was moved to the following day.

The next day, Thursday, they do the actual surgery. Allow me to describe the basic concept to you, They insert a scope and a probe into my urethra, locate my left ureter, and navigate the probe with stint to the stone. I'm not certain the exact positioning of the stint as related to the stone, but I do know that they believe the stone to be good and lodged, and the area well inflamed. Breaking it up with sound was not an option due to these facts as well as the location.

Instead they put me on a cocktail of drugs (pictured) in an attempt to dissolve the stone (these are on top of my pain killers), and this coming Wednesday I'm going in for a scan to determine whether its helping or if they're going to need to cut me open to laser it.

As painful as the surgery was (urinating the first few times was one of the most painful experiences of my life) the constant excruciating pain I had since returning from Japan has entirely lifted. I think I got more done at work today than I did in the last two weeks combined.

There is at least one surgery left, where they will remove the stint, possibly two if they remove the stone at a separate time. I'm not sure what they'll do.

I need to do something, being trapped at home / work in pain the last two+ weeks after getting back from Japan has been probably the worst cabin fever of my life.

Just when I thought my life might be starting to get back to normal, getting over the Jet Lag, all that good stuff, I wake up Thursday morning with a pain in my back, and not just any pain, a terrible pain, a pain that just keeps getting worse no matter what I try.  I end up calling in and heading to the Emergency Room in what happened to be the least comfortable car ride of my life.  In fact I might call it the worst pain of my life.  I get to the ER and they do some tests, give me a cat scan, and put an IV in me.  Doctor comes over, ends up I have a kidney stone.  I have to say better now than when I was in Japan if it had to happen, but my preference would certainly be for the route where it never happens.

They've got me on some pain meds for the time being, and I get to strain my pee, sounds like fun, no?  Its been almost two days now though and if I don't pass it soon, I'm going to need to go back in. 

Japan post is still coming, I promise.  Here's hoping I pass this thing soon and its not too incredibly painful, as I'm sure it will be.  I'd just like to say of everything on the trip, the one thing I miss most is being with people, the daily intelligent conversation.  I miss that quite a bit.